Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down

My brother once froze a dollar in a block of ice

  • i called it cold hard cash

Knock knock who’s there it’s me I can’t get in because Stephen hawking is blocking the door

Chuck Norris: “I block bullets with me beard”. Abraham Lincoln: “I catch bullets with my skull”

Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?

He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.

Boi your the reason the great wall of China is a thing. You so ugly the Chinese needed to block you out

A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, “Mom why is my name Rose?”

The mom responded, “Well you see, when were you born, a rose petal fell on your head.”

The second one asks her, “Then why is my name Daisy?”

The mom chuckled and simply replied with, “When you were born, Daisy petals on your head.”

The last one said, “DUH DUR SURH!”

The mom said, “SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!”

What is so similar about a concreate block and a garden They both make vegitables

The Coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.

Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.

One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!

He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!

Coach said to himself, “I got to have this guy. He’s got the best arm I’ve ever seen!”

He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.

The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.

“Mother,” he yells over the phone, “We just won the Super Bowl!”

“Don’t talk to me,” the woman says. “You abandoned us. You can’t be my son.”

The young Iraqi begs, “Mom, you don’t understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!”

“I don’t care,” his mother snaps. “Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped.”

Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit.

The cow was stuck because 3 retarded piggies were blocking him.

What did the cow say to the pigs, MOOOOVEE!

FRIEND no so much " Hey wan to come to my house ?" sended
lonly ORPHAN/ trump " want to come to my orphaige? sended

FRIEND not so much " dude im  blocking you!" sended

Lonly orphan " :( sended

Once There was a minecraft child molester on the minecraft facebook. He asks a kid his age. the kid blocks him.

you mama so fat she filed um min crafts block limit lol XD

Why did only blonds show up at Saturday’s party during the Corona crisis?

Cause their computers flashed, Virus blocked!

p=person (not original ‘‘pun’’)

p1:hey girl p2: i got a bf! p1: well i got a lamborghini aventador, a bugatti super sports, a yacht and a private plane. p2: bf stand for breakfast. p2: oh and also where did you get all that stuff? p1:gta5 p2: you motherfucker!!! (communications with this person are now blocked)

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