My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.
Health Jokes
What do you give a sick lemon?
A lemon-aid.
I hate salmonella.
It is such a pain in the butt.
Why can’t the blind man see?
He just can’t see. 🫤
Having a stroke?
Stop it!
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
"I need to go to the doctor!"
"Why?"
"It has a crack in it."
Errrrrrrrrr my spine doesn't work.
Eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
One day, someone's ex was going to the kitchen to get something to eat, and her ex-boyfriend was there and gave her an apple. Next minute, she had chlamydia. What did the boyfriend do?
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.
Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
What do you call a horde of Autistic kids?
A zombie Apocalypse!
Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhh🧟
Where do spiders seek health advice? WebMD.
Same old boring ass day, until a person with Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention.
He really shook things up today.
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
Why did he kill himself?
Because he is adopted to a fat man who farts.
