Health jokes
Down syndrome sucks!
Why did the ass go to therapy?
It couldn't deal with all the crap.
Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
Q' What's an Alzheimer's victim's favorite type of comedy?
A. I forget.
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
I'm okay with giving babies iPads, as long as the baby has anencephaly.
You can't get brain rot if you don't have a brain!
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
I was falling down the stairs at my local clock tower.
I somehow broke more than 206. I broke 342!
Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.
Why don't nurses like giving old people baths or showers?
Because they don't want their vegetables to get soggy.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To fix his flow.
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.