Health jokes
With great depression comes great antidepressants.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
Leo is more useless than a HEDGEHOG with ALOPECIA.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
I'm a recovering cake addict.
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
A gingerbread man walks into the doctor’s office with a broken arm. He asks the doctor, “Doc, what should I do? My arm is broken!”
The doctor then looks at him and says, “Have you tried icing?”
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
What do you call a Black person having a seizure?
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
True story: In 1986, in the midst of the HIV epidemic, they made condoms available to the public. At that time, me and my boyfriend were 13 years old. My boyfriend was so happy: "These will make great water balloons!" And I was even happier. I did not have to pack a lunch for school tomorrow, lol.
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
What do you call two Hispanics with Parkinson's disease?
Maracas.
I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept.
I can't say the next one because I have a "huit" allergy.