Health jokes
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
Arden is so fat!
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
When a pregnant lady gives birth, it looks like she is having an erection.
Q. What do ghosts do when they get hurt?
A. They call an AmBOOlance.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.