Health jokes
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
What’s the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
I'm jealous of cancer. My dad beat me but never beat cancer.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
I have cripple and depression.
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."
When a fat person wants to kill themselves, why are they so worried? The diabetes will get to them sooner or later!
A "type person" is addicted to eating sugar.
When the doctor saw this, he said,
"From Type 2 Diabetes!"
Get it?
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?
Defective rabies.
Fuck, my dad has cancer, lol.
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
Why did the blind man fall down a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
This is Sally.
Sally says hi.
This is Sally when a car comes by. 🤕
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...