Health jokes
What itches a lot?
Syphilis.
When a man loses his testosterone,
Man: Could I please have a loaner boner?
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
Memes
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-