I did not believe in COVID-19 until I saw your teeth social distancing.
Health Jokes
If an apple and a depressed kid fall out of a tree, which one hits the ground first? The apple.
The kid just hangs there.
So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokémon!
What is a snake's favorite drug?
Adder-all.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
What's the definition of disgusting?
Sticking 5 oysters up your grandmother and sucking 6 out!
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete
Dwarfism is a growing problem.
Kidding, that’s not funny. My friend died of dwarfism.
He jumped off a curb stone.
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
What do you need an apple because you got an "izzy?"
Ajay's leg.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
One day a son and his grandad were smoking.
Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)
