Health jokes
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."
Ahh, the coronavirus!
My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.
Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.
Memes
daily reminder
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?
Because it says "B Positive!"
Why did the blind man fall down a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
What’s the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
I have cripple and depression.
The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
Fuck, my dad has cancer, lol.