A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
Health Jokes
What is a lot?
Syphilis.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.
Q: What is the hardest part of a cabbage?
A: Wheelchair.
What type of implants are at a Chinese dentist office? Buck teeth implants.
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
Diabetic wives are like Cillit Bang. Squeeze them a bit and bang! The bed is gone.
Q: Why was the potty sad?
A: Diarrhea
On April 1st, there was a baby born in the hospital when the doctor, out of sudden, directly takes the baby from the mother and smashes as hard as he can to the wall.
The mother crying and yelling, "What did you do? You killed my Baby!! Why did you kill my Baby?"
The doctor just laughs and says, "April, April, it was already dead."
Hahaha
Do this on a calculator.
There was this girl who was (13) but she wanted to be (84) but she was (45) but the doctor said (0). He said take these tablets (2x) a day, but she took them (4x) a day, and she ended up boobless.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
Yo mama is so poor, she makes her own hand sanitizer.
Why do cheetahs have spots? Chicken pox.
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.
My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."
People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
