Health jokes
I needed a test on if I'm pregnant. Then the doc said, "Take your pants down." Then he put his penis in my vagina and said, "Now you are pregnant."
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Friend: You ok, man?
Me: Yea... I'll just leave myself "hangin'" tonight...
What do you give a pig when it has a rash?
Oinkment.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
Why are there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.
This isn't a joke, but in some countries, children eat their shit for better digestion when constipated.
My friend's emo. I told her to play jump rope with me. She hanged herself. Lol.
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.
I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.