Health jokes
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
Yo mama so fat, she died!
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
What’s the world’s most diseased country?
GerMany.
Carys’s mum has chemo.
Me: Imagine not having hair.
Kids: On chemo.
Bitch the fuck.
These are ear-retcal jokes...
Fail.
One day in my class, we were having that good snack, and one of my classmates choked on a Cheerio. One small, single, Cheerio!
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
What do you call a bunch of autistic kids in a box?
A toolbox.
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
My mother said I'm sexy. I said no, I have cancer.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
What did the butt say to the other butt? "I got big fat apples for butt checks!"
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
Why couldn't the girl brush her hair?
..... She had cancer.... ;)