A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
Health Jokes
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.
Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.
When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"
Why did the autistic kid walk across a busy road?
He was chasing his mind and got hit by a car.
