Health jokes
Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.
Your mum is so fat that when she sat on the toilet, she couldn't because her fat ass can't fit on the toilet seat.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
Zion's so fat, when he walks, he breaks his mama's back.
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
Memes
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
Doctor: I can't treat you.
Orphan: Why!
Doctor: I'm a family doctor.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
What do Africans eat for breakfast?
E-bola Cornflakes.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
What's the most difficult thing about being a pediatric surgeon?
Keeping the scalpel steady while masturbating.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Cancer kids be like: "When I grow up... lol nevermind."
This joke never gets old. Just like the child.
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
A fat man was checking his weight and sucking in his fat belly. A physicist saw it and said that's not how the law of conservation of mass works.
Plot twist: The fat man jumped on the physicist and proved him wrong. Now the physicist doesn't have mass.