Health jokes
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?
Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.
If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.
You also can't breathe if you die.
So why isn't it debreathiation?
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
Laila has 69 boobs, but that is 222 too many. One day, she went on 51st Street to meet Dr. X, who ate all her boobs, and now she's boobless :)
6922251 x 8 = 55378008. Put the calculator upside down.
What is the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”
The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
Did you hear they found a cure for autism? It's called Zyklon B.
Light it up blue 🔵
Like if you are scared of Covid-19.
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
Q. What do rape victims miss?
A. Part of their brain.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
Americans are fat.