Health jokes

Q. What do rape victims miss?

A. Part of their brain.

How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?

Pour bleach on it.

Like if you are scared of Covid-19.

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."

It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

Americans are fat.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Rabid cow.

Rabid cow who?

Hold on, I need to get my gun....

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?

Because he fell off his wheelchair.

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

What's green and has a thousand nipples?

A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”

I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"