Health jokes
It ain't always having erectile dysfunction, but it sure as hell ain't hard.
Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.
Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.
Guy #2: Why, what is it?
Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.
Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...
Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Memes
Americans are fat.
"SpaStics on aplastic. Add me on ps4 SpaZZagaZZa54."
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Knock knock!!
Who's there??
Dishwasher!!
Dishwasher who??
Dishwasher way i used to talk when i got my head kicked in!
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
What's the difference between a (hypothetical) girl and cancer?
Her dad didn't beat cancer.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.