Health jokes
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Why are there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
Like if I'm fine-ish.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Lung story short... ahqhahahah!
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"