Health jokes
Y’all can actually see them at all, my toe.
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
Lung story short... ahqhahahah!
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
Why are there no fat people in Japan?
Last time they had a "Fat Man," 80,000 people died.
What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
Like if I'm fine-ish.
"Simon says touch your chin."
The fat people be like, "Which one?"
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
There was a blind man. He was blind. Ha, sucks for him.