Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk
What do you call your angry french aunt
A crossaunt
My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died. -- She was eaten by a giant crab.
what's a penguin's favourite relative?
Aunt Arctic
my aunt used to say "slow and steady wins the race". she died in a fire.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunts annus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.
aunt: on internet buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars neice: i found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch its 3 dollars to watch aunt: im not paying for that shit neice: yet u sit there and buy weight loss pills
My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away." the next time my Aunt visited she said "Where is you daughter?" my Mom said "I took your advice"
What comes to visit more often then your aunt your acne
Had an amazing night with this girl woke up and it was my aunt now I’m inlove
Why was the baby ant confused? Because it uncles were all aunts
Who makes the best anteaters??? Uncle's..(Aunt eaters)
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died "can you stop shaking the latter please"
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11"
Why did the chicken cross the road why? because the wanted to kick someone in the family
Gwen we can chat in 2 mounths my aunt just died from covid and is talking forever for us too get there to californa I love you your boyfriend prince!
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks " what's that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
Knock Knock Who’s there?
Jo
Jo who?
Jo Auntie
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion? A: Because it will eat your "Aunts"
