Aunt

Aunt Jokes

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

2

My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away." the next time my Aunt visited she said "Where is you daughter?" my Mom said "I took your advice"

aunt: on internet buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars neice: i found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch its 3 dollars to watch aunt: im not paying for that shit neice: yet u sit there and buy weight loss pills

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

The teacher asked the class to use the word ā€œfascinateā€ in a sentence

Molly put up her hand and said, ā€œMy family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, ā€œThat was good, but I wanted you to use the word ā€˜fascinate,ā€™ not 'fascinating'.ā€

Sally raised her hand. She said, ā€œMy family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.ā€

The teacher said, ā€œWell, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ā€˜fascinateā€™.ā€

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word ā€œfascinate,ā€ so she called on him.

Johnny said, ā€œMy aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!ā€

The teacher sat down and cried.

Whatā€™s the difference between a bank vault and you aunts annus?

The owner of bank vaults donā€™t force you to penetrate it.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is ā€œdicks and pussies!ā€ Johnny asks " whatā€™s that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dadā€™s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

Albert is an homophobic guy, His cousin Franco also an homophobic guy.

Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert wasn't knowing that because he came late at night, Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed thinking he would not come at home, Albert laid on his bed thinking there's no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*

No phobia lasts forever šŸ‘ŒšŸ˜‚