Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
What do you call your angry french aunt
A crossaunt
My Aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or its useless, throw it away." the next time my Aunt visited she said "Where is you daughter?" my Mom said "I took your advice"
What comes to visit more often then your aunt your acne
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
The teacher asked the class to use the word āfascinateā in a sentence
Molly put up her hand and said, āMy family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, āThat was good, but I wanted you to use the word āfascinate,ā not 'fascinating'.ā
Sally raised her hand. She said, āMy family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.ā
The teacher said, āWell, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word āfascinateā.ā
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word āfascinate,ā so she called on him.
Johnny said, āMy aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!ā
The teacher sat down and cried.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion? A: Because it will eat your "Aunts"
My aunt worked as a human cannon ball
I'm not sure if she was good at it until she got fired
Who makes the best anteaters??? Uncle's..(Aunt eaters)
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning and his dad was making alot of mistakes. Suddenly his dad screams " bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant and his dad replied " aunts and uncles" Oh. next thing he hears is ādicks and pussies!ā Johnny asks " whatās that mean?" To which his dad replied " uh coats and hats." Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling " fucking, fuck,fuck,Fuck" " what does that mean dad?" And his dad yells " cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says " Hey bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dadās in the kitchen fucking the turkey.
Albert is an homophobic guy, His cousin Franco also an homophobic guy.
Albert's aunt and cousin have visited his parents, but Albert wasn't knowing that because he came late at night, Franco was sleeping in Albert's bed thinking he would not come at home, Albert laid on his bed thinking there's no one on it, and then they started fucking ^_*
No phobia lasts forever šš
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11"