Health jokes

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

I was in a wheelchair for a few weeks last month.

I went through a super traumatic experience, and I *wheely* hope I made a good *roll* model!

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

I keep hearing "Obesity kills."

My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"

Q. What's an Alzheimer's victim's favourite song? A. Stand Down at Sundown.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?

Strong to the finish.

You're so fat, that you're fat.

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?

One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.

The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.

"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Kids in wheelchairs can't stand up for themselves if there's a bully.

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

What do dentists call their x-rays?

Tooth pics.

What is the easiest way to get into a busy hospital? Try to commit suicide.

(YES I KNOW I SPELLED SCUCIDE WRONG)

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.

What site does a vegetable go to when he/she is stressed?

cornhub.com