Health jokes
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
Why did the rapper go to the optometrist?
Because he needed to improve his RAP VISION.
What do you call a gender neutral person who is lactose intolerant non-bi dairy?
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold.
Memes
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.
What's the difference between normal sex and anal sex?
One makes your whole day and one makes your hole weak.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
What is big and long and hard?
A cucumber!
You're so fat, that you're fat.
The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"
Health feed fights grand gucxsrdcjcgfdz taxicab heaven reflection during harvesting.
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?
"Happynese" (happy knees).