Amy Winehouse jokes

This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.

Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

What's the difference between Captain Morgan and Amy Winehouse?

Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke.

I tried to rape Amy Winehouse, but she said, "No! No! No!"

I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.

The wheels on the bus go round and round!

Like if you know someone is emo.

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.