Health jokes
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
I C U P works on 88% of people.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling very well.
I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.
Let me know if you can't cum.
What did one ankle say to the other? Good morning, how are you today?
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
I'm not fat!!
I'm a Nutritional Overachiever.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Just shit my pants and it ran all down my legs... last time I eat at Popeyes.
RICK: GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT OH GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER OR IMMA SAY IT!!!!!!
Richard: What????
Rick: So before Donald Trump's impeachment, he said, "The Coronavirus will end on March 32nd 2021."
Richard: Your from planet Earth where there's a March 32nd. Enjoy it, *stupid dumb fuck brother*.
Rick: Oh I will.
*It was the day March 21st*
*9 Days later*
*March 31st*
Rick: oh I cant wait until tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! Ooh im so excited im gonna give my friends a big ole bro hug and hand shake i miss the muhfuckin dudes man
*one day later*
*He got his school uniform waiting for the bus not seeing it*
Rick:....... wai......Huh!?!?...... hol....up
BITCH IM AND IDIOT THERE IS NO MOTHERFUCKING MARCH 32ND THIS IS THE MOTHERFUCKING 1ST OF APRIL TRUMP DUMBASS
*Richard*
*oh he's the dumbass*
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Why do I love a block? Because I can fall off the stairs.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
Please stop using this thread. It is cancer.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”