Health jokes
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
AIDS?
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
Q: What is the most expensive haircut? A: Chemo therapy.
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
Drinking coffee when you're anxious is about as effective as using gasoline to put out a fire, but slurp slurp guess who's an anxious bitch who never learns.
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
That feeling when elbow surgery was yesterday.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
Your Dad.
How do you tell a child they have cancer? With a smile on your face.