Health jokes
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Why do some couples go to the gym together?
Because they want their relationship to work out.
Do you know why there are no pharmacies and pharmacists in Africa?
Because you can't take pills on an empty stomach!
If certain diseases spread in water, why does Africa have them?
A doctor walks into a room with a dying patient and tells him, "I'm sorry, but you only have 10 left."
The patient asks him, "Ten what, Doc? Hours? Days? Weeks?"
The doctor calmly looks at him and says, "Nine."
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them.
The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
What does Cangaball do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.