Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
Oral and Rectal Thermometers
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, you dumb son of a gun. This joke is funny because it's NASTY. You see, a doctor could use the wrong thermometer in your BUTT when they should be using it in your MOUTH. Now, the thought of a germy butt thermometer in your mouth makes people feel icky and uncomfortable. I bet you got lots of those thermometers inside you right now, you dummy!
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