Guy jokes

Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

Guys, put more comments in.

We are so close to beating the world record for most comments on this website, and the record is 171.

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

A guy walks into a bar, then a table, and then a chair.

Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.

Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?

He couldn’t find the right solution.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

What's the worst possible thing to be playing during the funeral of a bridge-collapse victim?

Fall Guys.

Did you hear about the guy who died by lethal injection and writhed on the stretcher for 20 minutes?

I guess it really IS all in the execution.

I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.

It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.

One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.

An optimist says, "The glass is half full."

A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."

Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"

These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?

The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.