Guy Jokes

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

If there's a guy without legs, he begins to hear boss music when a stack of shelves appear.

C'mon guys, I know I'm not the only bored one around here!

What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?

One won't scream when you remove their meat.

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

The image is a side-by-side comparison. On the left, a photograph shows a woman with long, flowing ginger hair. On the right, a painting shows a character with ginger hair and a round face and body. Above each image, text labels them as "Ginger girls" and "Ginger guys" respectively.

Guys, I know how to stop racism. Delete the word "racism." People can't be something that doesn't exist.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?

He got hearing aids.

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."

The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏

Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?

Answer: a Carnivwhore.

One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.

I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.