Guy jokes
Did you hear about the deaf guy's STI?
He got hearing aids.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
Okay, thanks for watching!
I knew a guy who would always claim he had a buddy with an IQ of 1.
It turns out he was just looking in the mirror.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
A guy told me, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
So I replied, "No, it doesn't."
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.
"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he replies.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
Quote Of The Day: Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
Love you guys, and hope today was amazing!
Peace out! <3
You know who deserves a medal? The guy who killed Hitler.
If this gets 10 comments (I don't care about likes) I will write a four page essay and post it, and it's up to you guys what it's about.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
Guys, what do you call an un-aborted and parentless child?...
An orphan.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."