Guy jokes
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
Can all the hot, depressed, suicidal guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we are. For real.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
Why did the gay guy say the n word? Cos he's retarded.
This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
"Guys! Let’s hang out after school!"
Dude named Guys:
Dude named Out:
Dude named School:
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Hey guys! Just a reminder that the guy below me is a crying bitch! Have a good day!
Why do guys hold their ball sack when they run?
Because they don't have titties.
A guy walks up to me and says, "I wonder if the hookman is real?"
I reply saying, "Yeah, it's Asa Hutchinson, lol."
Here is a dark joke for you guys... "Why do pornstars scream, "DADDY!" in their videos? Because they were child molested by their father!"