Medal jokes

What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?

They both came in a little behind.

(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.

What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

What is better than a paralympic gold medal?

Walking! 😂😂😂

You know who deserves a medal? The guy who killed Hitler.

Why doesn't Mexico win any medals in the summer Olympics anymore?

Because all the Mexicans that can run, swim, or jump are already here.

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.

Once, there was a man that was coming to my house and peeing in my yard. Then the man came back to my house and flopped his penis everywhere and peed at the same time, and it went all over my face.

So the next day, he came back, and I got my BB gun and shot a metal BB into his peepee.

This didn't actually happen.

People are pushing for a new black Lady Liberty coin. I can't wait to use black people as currency again.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.