Communist

Communist Jokes

Country

In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

Gulag

In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.

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  • Aclu

    What do the initials ACLU stand for?

    🤔

    American Communist Lawyers Union.

    Commie

    I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.

    Guy

    Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only killed communists.”

    Artist

    An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.

    The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

    "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.

    "Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

    Left

    Why are Communists considered the left?

    Because they can’t do anything right.

    Teacher

    Vegan Teacher the musical.

    Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"

    Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶

    Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵

    Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵

    Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵

    Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"

    Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"

    - Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.

    Condom

    Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?

    Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.

    Difference

    How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

    Country

    In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.

    In Soviet Russia, it's called aregoslavia.

    In a normal country, you call it Yugoslavia.

    In Soviet Russia, it's called yugostravia.