Communist Jokes

Puns

TheEll_XXCroz (sub me!)
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Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

3

Pirate

Anonymous
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What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS Arrrrr.

Hammer

Anonymous
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What do you call a Frozen communist? Hammer and Pop sicle

Orphan

Soviet dude
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Why do orphans want to be communist? So they would have a motherland.

White

Communist boi
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In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually

2

War

Anonymous
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in normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade "refresh yourself with a cold war."

Puns

Anonymous
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What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.

1

Adult

Anonymous
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What does the initials ACLU stand for 🤔 American Communist Lawyers Union

Wife

Anonymous
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An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests. The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.

"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" Asks one of the guests.

"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.

Wait

Anonymous
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I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.

Poor

Awesome broadway fan
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Vegan teacher the musical Miss Kadie - oh no you poor dead animal Mr. Beast- 🎶 your a dumb Communist Miss Kadie🎶 Chandler-🎵 yup your one high fluting son of a gun🎵 Mr. Beast- 🎵 I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant🎵 Miss Kadie - 🎵 don’t hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans R us kid🎵 kids- 🎵 we’ve had enough of your problems miss Kadie your such a commie Miss Kadie - 🎵 I just want to die because I’m so sad - Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and comits sucide

Guy

Anus McDickNuggets
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Some guy interviewed me and asked how it felt to kill thousands of people. I replied, “I don’t know, I’ve only killed communists.”

Minecraft

Lovely perv
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Why dont communists like Microsoft? Because its Minecraft instead of ourcraft

Funny

@therealjosephstalin
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Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it

Wife

Dave Keyworth
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My wife was run over

Left

Danyelle Avery
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Why are Communists consider d the left? Because they can’t do anythimg right.

Change

NewYorkGuy28
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How Many Communist Does it take To Change Lightbulb? Never Enough

Spell

USSR Soldier
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How do you tell the difference between Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled

Country

Anonymous
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In normal country you call it Yugoslavia. In soviet Russia its call aregoslavia.

In normal country you call it Yugoslavia. In soviet Russia its called yugostravia.

Make

Anonymous
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communist jokes suck ... unless everyone gets them.

Puns

Anonymous
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what do you call a communist

braxton

Fast

Harry Wiener
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What is Beyonce's favorite fast food chain? dairy QUEEEEEEENNNN!