Guy jokes

What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”

Why did the kid go in the guy's van?

Answer: He thought he was being adopted.

A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."

A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!

Teacher: "Do you guys want to get in trouble?"

Kid named Teacher: *

Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?

Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?

Fly Guy

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

Jeff crosses the US border.

The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.

Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Need an arch? I Noah guy.

What do queer guys call hemorrhoids? Speed bumps!

Why were condoms invented? So gay guys can have sword fights.

What did the fat guy say to the skinny guy?

Fat guy: Does this look fat on me?

Skinny guy: No, I don’t think it’s that.

Fat guy: Thinking.

The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"

Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."