Government jokes
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
Cruel and unusual punishment.
How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
Only a city council committee would create this mistake.
Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!
What would you call the previous president when he is having a bad day?
Donald Grump.
Donald Trump is a good president and not a complete moron.
Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
How can one make Death Row a little more fun?
Musical electric chairs.
Dude, what if 9/11 happened because they wanted slavery back?
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
He was snowed in.
What would be Joe Biden's name if he was an orphan? "Joe."
All hail President Trump!
"Let's go Brandon!"
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
What do you call a potato with a pp?
A dictator.
People are really upset with the Trump-Biden debate.
So much so, that Chris Wallace has requested to change his name.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.