Pickup jokes

I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.

Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.

Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for ya?

All these showstoppers and technical challenges and I still can't get your signature.

Are you a waterfall?

'Cause I'm falling for you.

Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.

Do you have a halo?

'Cause I can give it to you.

Are you Shane Dawson?

Because I can be your pussy.

Are you a rope? Cause I'm tryna put you around my neck 😏

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

What’s Queen Elizabeth’s pickup line?

You’re breathtaking!

Did you fart, cause you blew me away?

You know why you remind me of a calculator? Because 1+1 equals the two of us.

Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!

Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day.

Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first.

Are you a microwave? Because I’m trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am.

Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet.

Are you makeup? Cause I’d spend hours doing you.

Are you a guitar? Because I’d love to hear the noises you make when I play with you.

Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down.

Most restaurants are closed at night, but your legs aren’t.

I’m not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out.

Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight.

Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but I hope it’s you.

Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream.

Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you.

Do you sing in the shower? Because if so, I need a private ticket of your concert.

Are your legs the twin towers? Because I’ll bomb what’s in between.

Are you a blanket? Because you’re on top of me every night.

Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7.

Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream.

I’m so jealous of your heart right now because it’s pounding inside of you and I’m not.

Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down.

Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up.

Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.

Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.