The 50+ Best Public Jokes

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?

They both lay pipes in public parks

I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.

Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary

Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school

What the type of teacher who doesn't fart in public?

A Private Tutor/Tooter

What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shot both of them, just not in public.

I hate wearing a mask in public

A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery story. The young boy then screams to a random woman “ your an ugly bitch”. The mother grabs her son, and says “ I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look.

Crimes in 2018- assault, murder. Crimes in 2020- coughing in public.

When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you

When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called - sheesh

What store is the most public?

Publix!

"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."

My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public I said maybe

Did you ever received a anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have a orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public? Gotta Go Fast

Two Italian men get on a bus...

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.