My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
What do city plumbers and pedophiles have in common?
They both lay pipes in public parks
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people where screaming at us and calling me a creep. It realy ruined our 10th anniversary
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shot both of them, just not in public.
What the type of teacher who doesn't fart in public?
A Private Tutor/Tooter
I hate wearing a mask in public
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery story. The young boy then screams to a random woman “ your an ugly bitch”. The mother grabs her son, and says “ I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look.
Crimes in 2018- assault, murder. Crimes in 2020- coughing in public.
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called - sheesh
What store is the most public?
Publix!
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public I said maybe
Did you ever received a anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have a orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public? Gotta Go Fast
Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?" Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"
I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.
public speaking is a more popular fear then snakes and you don't see anyone walking in australia and shout look out a podium
Why did the united nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public? Because the french government was using the guillotine on new born babies for circumcision.
