Government

Government jokes

Brain

Why did Trump's brain cross the road?

Oh wait, there is no other side.

Trump supporter

What do you call the only Trump Supporter to follow his orders to obstruct justice?

Answer: Attorney General William Barr!

Tower

The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.

Woman

What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?

Answer: Keri Lake!

Country

My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.

Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.

Assassination

What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?

First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.

Condom

What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?

The condom was actually useful at one point.

Biden

What does Biden do? He does you.

What does do something useful unlike you?

Queen

Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?

Because they lost their queen.

911

Every 911 joke isn't that good.

Well, at least not until they come crashing down.

Bomb

Know the nuclear bombs of the world.

🇷🇺🧨 a “bad” bomb

🇨🇳🧨 “ww3”

🇬🇧🧨 a “good” bomb

🇺🇸🧨 Japanese area testing

🇮🇱🧨 what bomb

🇮🇷🧨 just self defence

Difference

What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?

Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.

Israel

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

Danielle Smith

It's good that Canada doesn't have the death sentence for treason anymore.

Danielle Smith is so fucking fat she'd get stuck in the gallows.

Bomb

President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!

Man: We have the power of the sun itself!

President: Drop it on them!

Man: You push the button.

President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.

Man: Hands over button

President: Pushes it

Both: YAAA!

President: Bumps into the button pressing it again

Both: Oh, sh*t!

Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off

Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again