Government jokes
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].
What do I think about the Kennedy assassination?
First of all, he should have had a roof on that car.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
JFK tried meditating. He told everyone he is very open-minded.
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving head.
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.
How do you anger a Libertarian?
Don't tell him the truth.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
Donald Trump being president is the biggest joke.
Who is the most horny and fat ass god?
Kim Jung Un.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
WWG1WGA.
Trump 2024!
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!