Government jokes

So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.

After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."

So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."

Biden 2020.

Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.

Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?

I hear it hurt like hell.

Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!

If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

Why are Americans such good chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!

Want to hear a racist joke?

Donald Trump.

JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.

Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

Stop blaming Bush. He is white, it couldn’t have been him.

Ppnutty68 is JFK's vice senior Ohio president.

I'm Joe Biden's husband.

Your mum is so stupid, she tried to take the crown off a "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster so that she could become the new queen of England.

What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).

I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].