Government jokes
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?
This joke's short just like Joe Biden's penis.
Oh wait, if I were to make a joke to the size of Joe Biden's penis, I wouldn't write a joke.
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
What's the difference between George Floyd and Joe Biden?
They both talk like they're on fent.
Obama got Osama.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.