Government jokes

Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.

A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.

What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?

Post Office.

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."

What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?

They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.

Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?

What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.

Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.

I don't laugh at Trump.

I was taught to NEVER make fun of the mentally handicapped.

What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

1. It stands for inflation.

2. It limits production.

3. It encourages cooperation.

4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

Biden 2020.

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!

Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.

Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.

"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?

I hear it hurt like hell.

Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!

Why are Americans such good chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

Why does Donald Trump smell like dog shit? Cuz he's a dawg!