Government jokes
Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:
"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."
Anyone know what bird that is?
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
What was the worse purchase America ever made?
Spending billions on two rice cookers in 1945.
What does Biden do? He does you.
What does do something useful unlike you?
what happens when the president turns emo?
the great depression.
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.
Your mom's so fat, Donald Trump built the wall around her.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
Anthony Blinken's life sucks, and getting COVID-19 positive is the only positive thing that ever happened in his entire life!
Trump, just why?
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister in Sweden.
He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
Who is Osama Bin Laden’s secret cousin? Barack Obama or Barack Osama Bin Laden?
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
What do 9/11 and 911 have in common?
They're twins.
What did the eagle say to Obama?
He said: "Joe Mama!"