Government jokes
NASA equals nugget and sh*t, amateur.
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
What does a crooked lawyer who is not on the ACLU payroll have in common with a crooked politician who has an office in Washington, DC?
They both sign their names using a blue pen 🖊 🖊.
What did Joe Biden say to the dog? I'm gonna molest you.
Memes
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Obama got Osama.
A guy in a wheelchair said, "I stand for Boris." But I think he meant he sat for Boris.
Ppnutty68 is JFK's vice senior Ohio president.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
Why didn't the 6th of Jan go well? Cause the shitty Trump supporters didn't carry out the damn job correctly and let the president down. Also, hang Mike Pence!
Instead of Obama, it was supposed to be Osama. Pretending I got their names mixed up.
What starts with "P" and ends with "E" and has a million letters?
Post Office.
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
Biden 2020.
Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.
Hello my fellow Canadians, I mean Americans. I, your cool and hip president, has decided to give everyone free ice cream! Even the Russians. Go out to your local ice cream shop and make sure to leave your kids at home!
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he's not Biden.