Government jokes
Dude, what if 9/11 happened because they wanted slavery back?
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
You know Thomas Paine, right? Well, clearly he had some common sense too, right?
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.”
“I still don't get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, "OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!"
Once the old lady told me she had wisdom, but after she voted! 🤯
Why does Trump build a wall?
There’s such a thing as a ladder.
Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?
To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
Who's the cutest president in the world?
Kim Jong Un, chh💕💕💕
Why does Britain suck at chess?
They lost their queen.
Do you know Biden?
Biden on these nuts.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
I'd love to move to a country ruled by Scott Stapp of Creed. Not only is it a place with golden streets, but it also welcomes people of all kinds with arms wide open.
Donald Trump.
Labor party.
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.