Government jokes
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
How do you anger a Libertarian?
Don't tell him the truth.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill.
Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?
Therianarchy!
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
Trump really fractured the US with his 1/6 insurrection...
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
What do a politician and a minister have in common?
Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.
How did the United States become a country? It broke all of its states.
Do you know why no one speaks about George Washington?
John Adams turned him into atoms. John Adams was an alien.
A kid asks Trump:
Kid: "Where are the confidential files?"
Trump: "There they are, bud!"
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
What's up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE). I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed).
I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl[d].
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.