You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
At this point, I don't want a funeral when I commit. I just want a going away party so people have an excuse to celebrate.
Your hairline is so dusty that it got musty.
Yo hairline goes so back it touches Jupiter.
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
Why did the emo go to the store?
To buy bleach.
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
I’m not saying you’re going bald, but you’ll find Waldo before you find your hairline.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
I smacked an orphan. what are they going to do tell their parents
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game? They kept yelling go home.
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
Person: Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?
Stranger: Oh, just go Stand in the middle of the road.
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
I was going to tell an asain joke but it's to Wong
