What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
A wife was cleaning her 12-year-old son’s bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags. She asked her husband, “What do we do?”
The husband said, “I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t fucking spank him.”
What's the difference between necrophilia and a choking fetish? 15 seconds.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
Mpreg is hot af.
I love jacking off to mpreg.
What is a similarity between priests and doctors?
They both have fetishes for their professions.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia
A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"
I suck poop in my butthole, aka porn.
