Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.
SaddienotBaddie
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ” What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavourless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelard.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favourite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
I just read an article that Texas is number one in the nation for both depression and infidelity in relationships. It's a sad state of affairs.
What's the difference between depression and your ex? Depression f-cks you harder
friend: how's it going? me: good, things are good! parent: how are you? me: oh I'm fine! Twitter: compose new tweet? me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?" Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!" >The teacher grabbed Billy, and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, " Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I ***KNEW*** that damn thing had wheels!"
A: Why are you so sad? B: I was watching porn and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movi
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Q – Why was the pediatrician always losing his temper?
A – Because he had little patients.
Q- Why was the little strawberry crying?
A – His mom was in a jam.
Q – What do you call a nosy pepper?
A – Jalapeño business
Q – What did the big bucket say to the smaller one?
A – Lookin’ a little pail there.
Q – What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?
A – Roberto
Q – What do you do with a sick boat?
A – Take it to the doc.
Q – What did the rubber band factory worker say when he was fired?
A – Oh, snap!
Q – What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
A – Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Q – Why was the poor guy selling yeast?
A – To raise some dough.
Q – Why do scuba divers fall backward when they go out of the boat?
A – Because if they fell forward they would fall into the boat.
Q – Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A – They lactose
Q – Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A – It’s too far to walk.
Q – Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
A – It’s OK, he woke up.
Q – What cheese can never be yours?
A – Nacho cheese
Q – What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland?
A – Well, the flag is a big plus.
Q – Why do crabs never give to charity?
A – They’re shellfish.
Q – How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A – A buccaneer
Q – How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
A – He could feel his presents.
Q – What’s brown and sticky?
A – A stick.
Q – What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A – Aye Matey!
Q – Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
A – Only if you aim it well enough.
Q – If you’re American when you go in the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you when you’re in the bathroom?
A – European
Q – What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A – A can’t opener.
I sold my vacuum. All it was doing was collecting dust.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.
One asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?”
The other answers, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Q – What do you call a fake noodle?
A – An impasta.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed space.
Clever Jokes To Make You Laugh
Just like corny jokes, clever jokes also have their time and place. Be sure to have fun and enjoy a good laugh over the following jokes:
Q – What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
A – Ba-na-na-naaaaa
What Do You Get When You Cross A Joke With A Rhetorical Question?
Heard about that new band called 1023 MB? They don’t have any gigs yet.
C, Eb, and G walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, no minors.”
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.” Helium doesn’t react.
I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like OMG
Puns to put a smile on your face
Q – How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
A – 10-tickles
Need an Ark?
I Noah guy.
I’m positive I just lost an electron.
Better keep an ion that.
Q – What kind of cats like to go bowling?
A – Alley cats
I went to see the Liberty Bell the other day.
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.
Q – What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A – Do-you-think-he-saur-us
The male pig puts everyone to sleep.
You might say he’s quite a boar.
Q – What do you call a goat that’s lazy?
A – Billy Idle.
Q – Where do robots go for fun?
A – The circuits
Q – Why do math teachers make good dancers?
A – Because they have algorithm
Q – You know what bugs me?
A – Insect puns
I asked my French friend if he liked to play video games. He said, “Wii.”
The machine at the coin factory just stopped working for no reason. It doesn’t make any cents.
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense
6:30 is the best time on the clock... hands down.
I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A customer asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Did you hear about the two silk works in a race? It ended in a tie!
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
I put all of my spare cash into an origami business. It folded.
Q – Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A – He neverlands
Q – Why do hamburgers go to the gym?
A – To get better buns.
Q – Why did the apricot ask a prune to dinner?
A – Because he couldn’t find a date.
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”