Go jokes

Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.

Friend: How's it going?

Me: Good, things are good!

Parent: How are you?

Me: Oh, I'm fine!

Twitter: Compose new tweet?

Me: Hellooooo, I would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it.

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

So, there was a male whale and a female whale swimming through the ocean. One day the male whale sees a ship and says, "That's the ship that killed my parents!" So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea.

The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive, so he opened his mouth and went for the man, but out of nowhere the female whale yells, "Hey!! I was in it for the blowjob, but I'm not gonna eat seamen!"

Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.

Anne Frank is still the Nazi hide-and-go-seek champion.

Never mind if I told you, it would go straight through your head.

"Beast Boy Four"

I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.

Wife: "You don't even have friends!"

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

Wanna suck my dick?

No? Well then I'm gonna go hang.

"Can we do 69?"

"How about 9/11 because we're going to crash tonight?"

Why can't Oregon go to the doctor?

Because they need parents' signature.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Twins.

Twins who?

Twins go boom boom today on 9/11.

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”

Why can’t an orphan go to a youth church? Because they need a parent to pick them up.

Hello people. I've seen your jokes are as immature as hell. Keep going with those jokes, people. We might earn the funniest jokes on this website.

I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."