Girlfriend jokes

Son said to father, "Last night was the best you and Mom..."

Father said, "Yeah, me, you, and your mother had sex."

Son said, "It was fun licking her pussy."

Father said, "I know it was fun when I sucked YOUR dick and your mother did. Did it feel good?"

Son said, "Yes, it was. Wanna do it again tomorrow?"

Father said, "YES BUT without your mom, we'll suck each other's dick and lick it and bite and shove each other's dick next to each other."

Son said, "Yeah, and if we do it again, let's have Mom and my girlfriend join next time."

Father said, "Ok, it's time to go to bed, son."

Son said, "Ok, love you, can you and Mom sleep with me without your clothes?"

Father said, "Ok, but you have to promise to go to bed."

Son said, "Ok, see you there." 💕👅👅👅💦💦💦💦💦💦🙈🙈💦💦💦💦💦

Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."

Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."

Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"

Ex-girlfriend: "20!"

Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."

Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!

What's 6ft long, red, and my girlfriend cries when I feed it to her?

A miscarriage.

What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?

Her miscarriage.

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

I told my wife she was lousy in bed.

She replied, "I guess you have been seeing your ex-girlfriend, uh?"

What did the man say when his girlfriend threw sodium and chloride at him?

That’s assault!

How did the mobile phone propose to his girlfriend?

A woman was sitting alone at a bar, and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sad. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.

The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks, they decided to go back to her place.

When they arrived, she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time, she burst open her bedroom door and said, "I hope you're ready!"

She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand, and a 12-inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.

The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"

She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."

The dude replied, "While you were in there, I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants, and came on your curtains. It's been fun!"

My girlfriend broke up with me this morning, and we just started dating yesterday.

Now she's having a breakfast.

What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?

You're my boo!

Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

I once had a trash can as a girlfriend.

I was ready to break up with her, but all she had to say was, "Please don't dump me!" Then I said, "Sorry, I'm ready to take out the trash."

What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?

They both break your heart.

When is the best time to punch a midget in the face?

When he’s standing next to your girlfriend and says your hair smells nice.

Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole?

A: Hole-y shit!

Hi, I'm new here and I'm 11. I'm just bored and want a girlfriend.

Does anyone have Snapchat or Twitter? I can show you what I look like ;)

What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?

There is no difference.