Girlfriend jokes
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said, "but the world is round."
I said, babe, you are my world.
If your blind girlfriend says you have a big cock, she's probably just pulling your leg.
My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.
No, they will be wondering what I look like.
In Jr. high, we all had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood and wrote a report on how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.
When I tell people my girlfriend's packin', they always think she's really good with a gun.
She's actually transgender and on the waiting list for surgery.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
If an orphan gets a girlfriend, they finally have someone to love them.
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
My girlfriend is so fat that when she runs or walks, she falls, so I am breaking up with you.
🙍🏼♀️Fat girlfriend: Nooo, don’t leave me, catch me, ahhh!
🙇🏼♀️Fat girlfriend falls on boyfriend: Ahhhhhh *dump*
🙇🏼♀️🙇🏼Fat girlfriend and boyfriend: Fat girlfriend: U didn’t catch me wawawawa. Boyfriend: Get off me, 900 pounds, ugh, I hate u!
Story done. Please like.
My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.
I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
I said to my girlfriend nothing can ever make you look ugly...
Because you already look ugly.
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)