Fucking jokes
No one:
Nothing:
Not a single f***ing soul:
Spanish Empire: DING DONG YOUR RELIGION IS WRONG!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Fuck.
Fuck who?
Fuck off!
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
I'm so fucking bored.
Memes
Me: I will f**k ur mom.
Orphan: I don't have one.
Me: ......
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!
Is your ass jealous of the shit that came out of your fucking mouth?
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Why did Hitler keep on f***ing England?
Because it had a Great Booty!
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
Three guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet, and the psycho one says, "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have!"
The first guy says, "Ha! My girlfriend has six! I'm racked up!" The second guy said, "Eh, I am happy with two balls." The third guy said, "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says, "Bro, you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?"
Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?
Woman: No, really?
Man: Well, the one I fucked did...
What begins with F and ends with CK?
Fuck, I mean fire truck.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
So, little Johnny is walking down the street and asks a stranger, "Sir, what are hormones?"
Then the man replies, "The moans of a fucking whore!"