Fucking jokes

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!

There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!

Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120

58008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

How do you f**k a duck?

Usually duck a f**k.

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

I fucking love Triple H and Jimmy Wang Yang!

Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"