Fucking jokes

While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋

There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!

Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.

69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120

58008 (flip calculator)

Boobless.

Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."

Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.

What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?

A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.

What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?

They both be fucking sugar daddies.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(

Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

Why do orphans like fucking other dads?

Because they get to have a daddy.

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.