Fucking jokes
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!
Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.
Every time French people greet me, they say "banjo."
Nga, I don't got no fucking banjo.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
why the fuck is steam there ????
Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.
Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.
Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(
Does that neverending forehead of yours go all the way to Mars, holy fucking shit?
"Fuck you, do something about it!"
Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.
Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Timmy: *starts crying*
Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."
I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.
What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?
One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.
Obi-Wan be like:
"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"
A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.
The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.
If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!
I fucking love Triple H and Jimmy Wang Yang!