Fucking jokes

If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!

You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.

Timmy: Stupid motherfucker.

Jimmy: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

Timmy: *starts crying*

Jimmy: Ah fuck, I did it again.

Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

A friend sits across from me at class so I asked if she wants to hang out sometimes. She said yes, so I called her over to my house, and that's the day I found out she was a guy.

The moral of the story: don't try to fuck your friends.

Nepali people are so fucking racist, like I want them all to be extinct.

Imagine losing your child in WW2 and your son fucking respawns, so you tell him off for not getting enough kills.

If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.

If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.

I'll kill a bitch like the policeman did to that white woman. He chopped her up and put her in the woods, the suck fuck.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? I fucking hate their whiny asses and beat them up.

How do you f**k a duck?

Usually duck a f**k.

Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

Lil Nas X is so gay, I would fuck him in the Old Town Road.

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

Why did my [redacted] a girl because she said, "Uh."

I AM FUCKING HAPPY AS HELL.

What did the emo say to the popular kid?

"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."