Friend jokes

Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

Friend: What goes up but not down?

You: Your age.

Listen, my friends say I am gay, but I tell them I am not because I am not happy. In fact, I have no life. You are my friend. I trust you with my life. Now, can you take it?

A bear is like your best mate, Harry.

If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.

Me: Why am I an orphan?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: Ask your mom.

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.

A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.

BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.

NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!

Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.

Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?

You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.

What does the ocean do to its friends?

It waves.

(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)

Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."

Like and comment if you will be my friend!

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.

Orphan: I don’t have parents.