Friend jokes
My friend that was in a wheelchair was getting bullied, so I said, "Stand up for yourself."
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."
I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
A kid tell me he was gonna f**k my mom on Fortnite! So I told him I was gonna double pump his mom until she was wet like moisty meyers.
Like if you're not a gay.
Dislike if you're furry.
Repost if you HATE blacks.
Comment for VBUCKS.
Sub to me on YouTube, it's my friend and he has aids, send him joeide53rygq2ej/le nb rfcshsu 3nurtv N3Q5UERIUGWTC7w2VWGYEHIWAWASERYAANFYINSIDEFREHJOBUGFUYWUSGRFYDIDYFRG911
My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
Person: Did you hear about the black chick on the front of the bus?
Friend: No?
Person: Exactly.
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.
The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.