Karaoke jokes

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet.

Why can’t anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke?

Because every time she sang the line “fire away,” someone started shooting!

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."

"Then how about Karaoke?"

To which he replied, "I have two left throats."

What do you call an emo a cappella group?

Self harmony.

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"

What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?

"Boys Keep Swinging."

The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.