Friend jokes

My friend is an emo. I asked why he wears black. He said, "Black like my soul." I just walked away.

My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?

My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.

My emo friend got jealous when my phone died.

Me: What do you call an orphan?

Friend: Homeless.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.

So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.

Friends, gather here.

Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

What did the lettuce say to the carrot?

"Lettuce be friends!"

My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?

Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.