Friend jokes

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

Friends, gather here.

Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.

Me: Are you an alien?

Friend: No.

Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!

I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.