Friend Jokes

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

BAHAHA

The image is a four-panel meme. The top left panel shows a smiling anime character labeled "You:". The top right panel shows an anime character with a shocked expression labeled "Your best friend:". The bottom left panel shows a cat with a blurred, startled expression labeled "Your cat:". The bottom right panel shows an anime character with glowing red eyes and the text "BUNGEE GUM HAS THE PROPERTIES OF BOTH RUBBER AND GUM".

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.