What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
You're like a cloud. When you go away, it's a beautiful day.
One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.
In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"
The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."
In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"
The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."
In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"
The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."
Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"
Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear.
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
why is the sun mad at the clouds?The clouds keep throwing shade.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
little johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over, as she dose she is met by the principal. they go into his office and the principal say "your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." the mother responds "he is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? bring him in here." a boy walks in and johnnys mother says "this isnt my son, bring him in here i would like a word with him." the principal replies "ma'am, this is clouds." the mother feints
What did the ghost knights say to the cloud king? Our souls will rain forever.
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
What's an old Japanese mans last words
hey that cloud looks like a mushroom or is it just me
(only Ninjago fans understand XD) if you look outside, and its really windy, its really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, cause it has to be Morro! XD
I'm not sure how I'm going to get to heaven. God had not built a ramp yet......or an escalator.
a cow was walking down the road and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky so it said "that is an a-moo-zing cloud'
