Friend jokes
One day a man was fixing a car, and he accidentally got brake oil in his mouth. He was about to spit it out, but then he thought, "Hmm, this tastes pretty good!" So he would keep drinking brake oil. But his friends were getting worried about him, and they were like, "Dude, this can't be healthy." But he said, "Don't worry. I can STOP anytime."
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
My friends.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.
While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》
"Nun" kills the two guys.
🤔
What's Daveon's favorite type of music? Daveon-core.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
If you drop something, make your short friend get it.
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize you're in a crematorium.
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
How did two retarded people get ran over in one second?
They're my friends.
A man is with his friend in a bar.
The friend, out of the blue, asks, "Hey, what's your body count?"
Nervous, the man looks away.
The friend then says, "I'm talking about sex."
The man then turns back and mumbles, "Oh... I thought you saw inside the basement..."
"Wait, wha..."
"What?"
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
Carly (😊): What a beautiful day, huh?
Bianca (😔): Yes, for you it is.
Carly (😟): What's wrong?
Bianca (😕): Nothing, nothing at all...
Carly (😠): Don't lie to me...
Carly (🤔): Hmmm... Jordan???
Carly (😈): Because if so, I can take him out like this...
Bianca (😔🙄😒): Thank you... no... and I don't give a damn anymore!
Carly (😠): Bianca, trust me, you don't love him anyway!
Bianca (😒): Please, Carlyana, please keep your fucking face out of this.
Carly (😈): No need to curse, I can do that to Jordan if you want...
Bianca (😔): Well... shut your mouth and leave me alone!
What goes moo? Cow.
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A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."