Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂
If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?
The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.
If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.
Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.
My friend was playing a game and said he was fighting cultists, so I said Kanye's fanbase.
I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.
My friend told me I was so dark that I had no bright ideas.
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.
I told him my dad never came back with it.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
