Friend jokes

One day I went to talk to my friend.

"Hi John!" I said.

No response.

"Oh, yeah."

I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.

"Hope that helps!"

If I died and went to heaven, do you think I’d be friends with Prince?

The only thing that makes me want to stay alive more is the thought that Prince would hate me.

Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

Boy: "What do you mean?"

Friend and me: "We can show you."

Me: "I will tie the rope."

Friend: "I will push the chair."

What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.

Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

My friend asked me why I haven’t had milk in six years.

I told him my dad never came back with it.

My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

Person: My left ear is ringing.

Friend: Then answer it!

It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.

My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌