Friend jokes

My orphan terrorist friend is on TV... I think he blew up.

Mother: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you follow?

Me: Leads a marching parade off the Golden Gate Bridge.

Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.

One of my friends got a haircut, and everyone giggled and bullied him... I didn’t, I died of laughter 😂

Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?

My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”

Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.

Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(

Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.

Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

My friend: You're ugly.

The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.

Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?

Me: Hell yeah.

Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?

Both: FUCK YEAH!

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

How do you be friends with a musician?

B minor.

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

Freshfry, my friend, please talk to me!

Riley....I...I think I wanna be more than friends.

Me: What do you call an orphan?

Friend: Homeless.