Forgot jokes

The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he forgot to update to the latest version of Microsoft.

Why was the piano waiting at the front door?

Because it forgot which key to use!

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exercise. They got up into the air and Jim said, "Okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want." Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, "I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire." Allyn said "What?" as he looked over at Jim.

What did the baker say when he forgot the cookie sheets?

Ooh, snickerdoodles!

"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."

Hail Satan.

............

Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.

Bob: Hey bud, remember we're going to space!

Carol: Really? I forgot to planet.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.

So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."

So, I hooked up with a girl at a party, but I forgot that it was a family reunion.

(SWEET HOME ALABAMA STARTS PLAYING)

Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.

Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.