Value Jokes

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

Turns out Christopher was adopted.

What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retain some value after getting wrecked

Emo girls be like- how much am I worth... Girl scan the code on your wrist

Man to woman: Would you sleep with me for one million dollars? Woman: Sure. Man: How about for ten dollars? Woman: What do you think I am? Man: We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price.

These jokes are so dark that their life matters.

What’s the difference between women and cars? At least cars retained some their values after getting wrecked

What’s the difference between chocolate and people You can’t buy people nowadays

Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.

Well at least my adoption fee cost more than you

bro living is so expensive and im not even having fun doing it or getting my moneys worth

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with her?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with him?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."

Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"

They say one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. That’s why orphanages exist!

I am like currency, people always trade me out for someone better

Joshua White loves blue, A simple truth, tried and true. In his pocket, only six, Yet each penny a valued fix.

With eyes that seek the azure skies, He dreams of places that mesmerize. A palette of blues, a symphony of hues, Whispering secrets only he can choose.

His heart beats to the rhythm of the sea, Where waves crash, wild and free. In sandy shores, he finds solace rare, A momentary escape from life's daily wear.

In cerulean fields, flowers dance, Their vibrant petals, a timeless romance. He wanders through meadows, devoid of strife, Seeking solace in nature's vibrant life.

Joshua White, a soul of gentle grace, Embracing the world at his own pace. Though his pockets hold a mere six, His spirit soars, never to be fixed.

For in the depths of his azure dreams, The richness of life's tapestry gleams. And with every breath, he finds anew, That love is boundless, ever true.