Value

Value jokes

Worth

    • You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.

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    • Mental Illness

    • My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

    When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

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    • Value memes

    Love

    • Bf: What do you think about our love?

    Gf: Count the stars in the sky.

    Bf: Aww, it's infinity.

    Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.

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    • Adoption

    • Christopher's Mom said, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

    Turns out Christopher was adopted.

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    • Misogyny

    • What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.

    Wrist

    • My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.

    “See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”

    I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.

    Found out I’m worth $3.97.

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    • Prostitution

    • Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"

    Woman: "Sure."

    Man: "How about for ten dollars?"

    Woman: "What do you think I am?"

    Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."

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    • Pool

    • What do women and pools have in common?

    They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.

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    • Phone

    • What's the difference between my phone and my sister?

    I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

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    • Stuff

    • The Good Old Days.

    You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

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