My foot itches.
Foot Jokes
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet.
Then I was even sadder, because that lucky guy didn't even *need* shoes!
Jesus and Moses come back to Earth.
Moses says, "Let's go down to the ocean and see if I can do what I used to when I was here before." So Moses raises his arms and motions to part the waters. Sure enough, he is able to part the waters just as before.
Jesus quips, "Close the water, I'm going to try to do what I used to when I was here last." So Jesus walks out on top of the water, then sinks to the bottom. He crawls out pulling seaweed off of him. Moses says, "Hey, it's not your fault, you didn't have those holes in your feet before."
What's a foot fetishist's favorite food? Hot dogs.
That's why your grandma 6 ft deep, feet!
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
Because he has holes in his feet.
There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.
I hope my teacher will be ok.
How do you get a hippy pregnant?
Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Why did the ball person go to the doctor?
He was kicked in the balls.
What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?
Watching their expression change.
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
A woman asked Stephen Hawking to dance, and he replied, "I'm not much good, I have two left feet."
"Then how about Karaoke?"
To which he replied, "I have two left throats."
Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."
