What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Football Team Jokes
Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
What's the twin towers' favorite football team?
New York Jets.
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
Why can't Columbus be offered a professional football team?
Because then Cincinnati would want one too.
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team?
A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.
So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What is a Fortnite player's favorite football team? The rabbit raiders! LOL! LMAO! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! LMAO! 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
You know the Twin Towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team. Instead, they just met the Jets.
Which two football teams played in the pirate Superbowl?
The Seahawks and the Buccaneers.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."