Food jokes

What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?

An arti-“choke”!

I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

What's a shark's favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!

What do you call a potato with a pp?

A dictator.

When orphans drink milk, they cry.

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

Yo mama so fat, everytime she has to use the world's largest knife.

A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.

What do you call a flat cabbage?

A leaf pile.

Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?

Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

"Orphans get picked."

Why do fat people like food?

The more the merrier.

Noob butter eater.

So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?

A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling very well.

What did the goat say?

"Let's play the grass!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣funny joke yes