Food jokes
Underground Fruit Association of N&C (UGFA)?
We’re bananas!
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
I was crying while my dad was cutting onions in the kitchen. Onions was such a good dog.
How did Jesus like his chicken?
Crucifried.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.