Food jokes

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

"Orphans get picked."

What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"

Yo mama so fat, everytime she has to use the world's largest knife.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it wasn’t peeling very well.

Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?

Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.

Fat: Dang...

Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.

My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are still cheesier than me...

I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.

What's an asthma patient’s least favorite vegetable?

An arti-“choke”!

(True story)

One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."

What did the goat say?

"Let's play the grass!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣funny joke yes

Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?

Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."

When orphans drink milk, they cry.

A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.

What do you call a flat cabbage?

A leaf pile.

You're so fat, when someone calls you fat, you get depressed and cut you a slice of cake.

My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.

The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.

What do you call a potato with a pp?

A dictator.

So the Devil decided to go to McDonald's and grab some lunch. What does he get?

A hot and spicy McChicken and three six-piece nuggets.