Food jokes
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Only one of them gets picked...
Hamburger cheeseburger Big Mac Whopper.
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Toaster Strudel
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say Banna? Yup! 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Women, you're a marshmallow because you're white, squashy, and everyone sticks their stick inside you.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple got chosen.
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
Why did the adopted kid eat the last cookie? Because he was the only one left to adopt; everyone hated him.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by an ice cream truck.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
I do not know.
Me: Hey, apple.
Apple: What?
Me: Knife.
Apple: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Not yo cheese!
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.