Food jokes
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
wear sweatpants.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?
By the time you're done with the breasts and the thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
Why are bears' hair so sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.