Food jokes
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
Look at it, it's a soulless green glob.
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?
The Milky Way!
Why can’t orphans eat a big bag of chips?
They are family sized.
A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.
What is the biggest candy in the world?
Candy Borobudur.
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
Keep calm and curry on!
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
I have some jokes about popcorn.
Nah, they're too corny.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain!
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs, "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."
What cereal do I eat?
Captain Bolts.