Food jokes
What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?
Raisin' her kids!
What cheese do monsters eat? Monsterella.
SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!
Why did the kids love the mushrooms?
Because they're fun-guys!
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
when you forget to close your fridge
How do you get ten babies in a bowl? A blender. How do you get them out? Doritos.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
Don't make fun of fat people. They already have a lot on their plate.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
What did Mrs. Hotdog join after Mr. Hotdog joined LGBBQ+? The LGBBQ++ premium.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison?
An escapea.
I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Your momma so ugly, when the Kool-Aid man burst in the door, he said, "Oh no!"
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!