Melon jokes
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.
Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
Why do orphans hate Cocomelon?
Because the parents are in every episode.
What did the melon say to the avocado when he proposed?
Can't elope.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
What do Rubik's cubes and melons have in common?
They have a history of separating colors.
What do rappers like cantaloupe?
Because they’re always dropping fresh MELON!
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite dessert? Cream pie.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"