Food jokes
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
How do you know when you have been invited to a gay barbecue?
When you are unable to distinguish foot-long hot dogs from long and thick big dicks, regardless of skin color.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear were having a picnic.
Fozzie said, "Do you know where Ms. Piggy is? I haven't seen her all day."
Kermit said, "I don't know, but this extra bacon cheeseburger sure tastes great."
What's a lesbian's favorite candy?
Licorice.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
How are my sister‘s legs and peanut butter alike?\n\nThey’re both smooth and easy to spread.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
What is Spiderman's favorite rice?
Uncle Ben's.
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.