Food jokes
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
Memes
When ur watching the two fat girls fighting over the last donut
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
For some reason, my mom likes to lick and suck on hotdogs. As a son, can anyone tell me why?
Why don’t I shut myself all the time?
I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An im-pasta.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?
The apple, because the rope caught the kid.
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
I know this isn't an orphan joke, but I didn't know where to say it, so yeah.
I threw a nut at the allergy table and screamed, "YES, TRIPLE KILL!"
Why are tomatoes green? Because they rot, like your mum.