Food jokes
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Yo hairline be looking like a chicken nugget, headass.
What did the tomato say to the empty ketchup bottle? "GOD STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Posts a couple of memes, leaves, does so again in a year
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
Why is jelly laughing a lot?
Because his friend goes nuts!
Why can’t an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because it was family size.
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
Two friends were walking in a forest. They started to fight.
A cannibal came and shouted, "Food fight!"
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
U u u u u u I haveggdvk hey apple.
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lemon.
Haha! Hahahah! Hahahaah!